Have you ever thought about your bucket list? Have you checked anything off your bucket list?

I have never intentionally written out a bucket list but I certainly have things that I have always wanted to do. Things that I want to do before I die. I don’t have a long bucket list, well I don’t think I do. But like I said, I have never written a list out.

I do know that I really really want (and have always wanted) cows. Like since I was in early elementary school. I’m not sure why cows. I just want them. I want them really bad.

I always always wanted a house with lots and lots of porch. I don’t care if it’s a wrap-around porch or a full front porch and a full back porch. I just know that I want lots of porch.

Something else that I have wanted to do for a long time is enter a figure competition.

I started reading fitness magazines about 10 years ago. I started with Shape, then Oxygen, Muscle & Fitness Hers and now I am loving Strong magazine. I follow many fitness people on social media and visit their websites from time to time but there’s something about a magazine. The actual glossy pages with these hard working, dedicated women on them. It’s so much more inspiring when I can see them on those pages than when I look at them through a screen. I actually have been blessed to see many of the women on these pages in person. I have one magazine that has about half a dozen of their autographs next to their pictures. I have had 2 lengthy conversations with Jamie Eason-Middleton and spoke briefly to Monica Brant and even the Incredible Hulk (not usually in the women’s magazines though 😉 )

Anyway, in these fitness magazines they feature ladies who have competed in figure shows. Many of the women have their pro card and some are amateur but still just as amazing. Some of these ladies are young fitness models and some are moms and grandmas. They have amazing bodies and show ridiculous commitment. I have total stage fright and wouldn’t consider myself competitive but it’s something about their commitment that I can’t get enough of. Their bodies show an unimaginable level of dedication and hard work. It makes me addicted to reading about their fitness regiment, their nutrition and most of all their journey.

I have talked about entering a figure show for years. Multiple times a year I tell my husband that I want to do one. I have tried to train for one without entering but the commitment isn’t there. That’s probably because, well, I’m not committed. I haven’t signed up and sent in my entry fee money. My husband told me before we had kids ‘now’s the time, if you don’t do it now you probably won’t do it.’ Well, I didn’t do it. And then the next year I didn’t do it and so on. Then I had a baby. Didn’t enter. Had 2 more babies. Now a decade and three babies have pasted and it still hasn’t happened. So as if a show isn’t hard enough to train for, I am signing up for one now…as a mother of 3 small kids and a plate piled high with commitments and duties.

Here I am. I am making this public. I have written my hundred-fifty dollar entry fee check.

And now I am nervous.

Like so nervous that I get jittery. I get a little light-headed and my hear races when I think about it.

I am nervous I won’t look like I want.

I am nervous I will get stage fright and not know what the heck to do.

I am nervous it will cost more money than I want to spend.

I am nervous I will eat too many Christmas cookies or drink too much wine.

I am nervous that some days I’ll have to pick between playing with the kids and working out.

I am just stinkin’ nervous.

I would love to post a before picture for you but I’m not there yet. I’m not ready to admit how my body has changed so much during the last year or two. There are a list of excuses that I could rattle off on why I don’t consider myself fit and healthy like I used to but it doesn’t really matter. Excuses are excuses, we all have a long list of them. I just need to start from where I am and improve myself each day.

A lot of people will get it. A lot of people will think signing up for a show is an awesome thing.

But some won’t get it. There will be some that will have negative things to say both to my face and behind my back.

That’s okay. The most important thing for me is the reason why I am signing up for the show. I am looking for the feeling of accomplishment.

It’s important to set goals and work hard toward them. I most likely will never do another show after this one. My body most likely will never look like my show weekend again. Both of those things aren’t why I am doing this. Just like when I signed up mini marathons or the Arnold Pump & Run. I didn’t do it to be the best or look a certain way. I signed up for them for the feelings I knew I would have after accomplishing something that I never thought I could do.

Ahhhhhh!!!!! I am so nervous!!

I almost backed out right before I send my form in. A couple friends of mine were supposed to do the show with me but all backed out already except my male cousin. I messaged my sister and she gave me a pep-talk and I hurried and sent my form in!

So will you do me a favor? Will you encourage and support me? Maybe just shoot me a message here and there or maybe if you see me out you can ask me how it’s going. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you posted through my blog but I would love that personal connection. I know there are people that believe I can do this, I’m just not sure I’m one of them yet.

What about you? Have you ever checked anything off your bucket list? What are some things on your list?